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Humiliated by World cup defeat Srilanka and Pakistan declare war against India

Straight after the defeat of his team to India in ICC World Cup final match Sri Lanka president Mahenda RajPakshe has declared war against India. Just after the match finished he left for Colombo and he was looking furious, more than he was looking last time when he decided to eliminate LTTE name out of the General Knowledge books. At Colombo Airport when he touched the ground he kissed the Lankan land like he has done many times back as symbolic gesture of his victory and declared war.

“These Bilateral and trilateral issues would not be solved on cricket ground and in a match any more. If India wants a war we will give it to her and it will be fought in her heartland”, he commented.

He said India has humiliated this island nation in many ways yesterday. Just after the toss which happened two times he said it was clear indication that Sri Lanka had won the toss and the match and Trophy could be handed over at the same time to Sangakara Sri Lankan captain. He went to say that It was conspiracy of India to invite Presidents and Prime Ministers of neighboring countries and humiliate them and he will not let it go. He ordered Sinhalese navy to attack at India from Madras and other Tamilnadu coastal ports. He went on length on record to describe how Tamils had humiliated in past as well when a Chola king with strange tiger flag planted LTTE there to invade their society.

His excellency said he accepted and went to Mumbai because he was thinking that a Tamil R Ashwin will play in the match and his team could get some inspiration to defeat a Tamil but instead of keeping Ashwin in place of injured Nehra Indians played dirty politics and kept Shreeshantha in the playing eleven which was clear indication that India wanted to humiliate Sinhalese as ShreeSanth commonly known as Appam is capable to piss off anyone on the field and he did the same and Zaheer bowled his first three overs for maiden, only Sri Lanka team could play well in last overs when they got confidence that Appam won’t bowl again but it was too late. Even in Batting after Sachin’s dismissal Gambhir told our team to keep in limits else we will promote Appam in order.  When reminded that Murlidharan the highest wicket taking bowler in his team was itself a Tamil, “He is ‘GOOD’ Tamil, like Pakistan have ‘GOOD’ Talibans”, Rajpakshe told.

On Appam episode he said “India has not only used this tactics against Sri Lanka but also against Bangla Desh”. when asked whether he has discussed Bangla Desh about it, he said “It won’t matter, they have Indian agents in Government.” But he has talked to Geelani and Kiyani dudes on hotline and both have similar thoughts that India has humiliated their great nation by calling PM and President to watch match in Mohali in front of Sardars and they had chosen not one but two Muslim players against Pakistani team. It was a plot by BCCI, RAW and MOSSAD against an Islamic nation and to keep the duty of a true Muslim brotherhood Pakistan lost the match. And It was not only one humiliation but that they deployed Missile near to Mohali to show their military strength.

Pakistan’s well known Security Analyst Zaid Hamid states “yeah, we knew this that this napak nation will do such things, but as I said earlier this time we are well prepared and we will hoist Pakistani flag on red fort and AIR will broadcast Radio Pakisatan from Delhi and Radio Ceylon from Madhras, Insha Allah. We are in contact with Shudar people and Naxals of India which are waiting for right moment to come.” more on Semi final match he said that, “Look that Tandolkar guy was out but even third umpire was given money, he overruled the decision.” When asked about poor fielding of Pakistan and wayward performance by Umar Gul and batting collapse, he said something which could not be understood and this line – “Yeh sab Hinduon aur zionists ki conspiracy hai, humare mulq aur quom ke khilaaf. Humare ladko per kaafi zulm huwe woha, hum eeska badla lenge”. He declared Shahid Afridi as Non Muslim as he said he was sorry to the nation and not to the all Muslims of the world.

when contacted Veena malik claimed Pakistan Government and its army itself is involved in this conspiracy and she did not do anything and said “its good that RAW did not allow Gilani and Zardari to enjoy a perfect Orgasm as well.”

SriLankan president even said that his Indian counterpart Mrs Pratibha Patil asked him whether he cooked something in kitchen of Bhandarnayake to become President and was talking about 10 Janpath, Sonia madam and Rahul baba all the time. “What a crap, it was”.  She even asked about what fighter aircrafts  Sri Lankan air force is having and wished to fly in some. It was enough to piss off this messenger of PEACE. But deciding moment came when he heard that Idli, Sambhar and paper dosa was in dinner menu list.

“Come on guys, you know how much tamilian these dishes Idli Sambhar whatever are.” Mahindra Rajpakshe said.

Meanwhile Rehman Malik told that President Zardari was to visit India and watch match with his whole family and Body Guards, but when he came to know about the airfare and ticket price, he said “Give me 10% of it, better I stay here.”

Pakistan and Srilanka have given a tentative deadline to India to return the ICC World Cup Trophy and approached China to help them. In a joint statement they said “India should return the Trophy immediately and we will decide with a three chance toss that who will keep it.”

There’s an emergency meeting of politburo of Communist party in china going on and it is believed that CPM general seceratory Prakash Karat has been summoned there. But China as they are known, did not say anything clear about recent development, but if believed from internal sources the common thinking was to move People Liberation Army inside Pakistan as strategic movement. Someone in Politburo meeting said that its necessary given the record of Pakistan against India whether in war or in war of World cup cricket, so that if something goes wrong which is highly expected they can take it over.

India is seeking advice from USA, which is not in any mood right now to play any role in this troubled South Asian region as they are busy with NATO to play “Command and Conquer” Real time against Pro Gaddafi forces in Libya. But Obama indicated that United States can provide Military equipments to these nations any time. Russia has started manufacturing of Mig 21 engines. Indian defense ministry is busy with finalising the defense deals with First come first serve basis.

In an unexpected move Nepal has said that they will support India.

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